I am DISGUSTED that my life is not as important as a straight woman's. That my emotions mean less, my commitment to someone isn't worth as much, because of my gender preference. Wait, no. Not preference. Because preference is something that can change with time, something you can deny. You prefer redheads but will date brunettes, you prefer chicken to fish for dinner. Gay people don't PREFER the same sex. It's just what is SIMPLY RIGHT.

I'm tired of "Christians" telling ME what MY GOD wants me to do. If I'm gay? God made me that way. I have a purpose as a gay Christian. I didn't have trouble with boys and turn gay one day. My first crush was a girl. My first kiss was a girl. My ONLY kisses have been girls. I'm in LOVE with a girl. And my feelings are not going to be cheapened by some hateful, empty-hearted conservatives. I LOVE SOMEONE. That's more than most of them can say. That's more than a lot of people can say. And I'm not going to ALLOW myself to be less of a person because I like other girls. It's pathetic to think I should. It's wrong.

Someday I want to get MARRIED and someday I want to adopt children and I'm NOT GOING TO MAKE THEM GAY! I don't have some insane, magical laser that makes innocent children into homos. I'm going to raise them and let them be what they are - gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, tall, short, little, big, goth, punk, preppy - WHATEVER. As long as they're happy and know they're loved. And I'm not going to give up my rights because Bush thinks there's something wrong with me.

I don't know. This is just such a load of BS. Families aren't threatened by gay marriage. Gay people are threatened by families of bigots. And I feel bad for the confused children raised by these people. That's what family is supposed to be like? Then I sure never had one. Thank. the. Lord.

The Love Letter

Maybe this should be filtered. But I don't care. Because it's part of a very important point of this whole day. I love you, Faye and our genders shouldn't change that. At all. You're a beautiful PERSON. You're not just a boy or a girl, you're a wonderful being. Your heart is amazing, you're beautiful how you are. And a bunch of government officials aren't going to dictate how I feel about you. It's not going to change. I'm hopelessly in love with you and I don't WANT to be any less.

I'm a girl, you're a girl, oh well!! I don't think God is going to send me to Hell for feeling something so real and right. I'm not going to burn for having emotions. I'm not going to be tormented - on Earth or beyond, by politician or demons - for giving my heart to someone. To Hell with THEM for not understanding that because I've never felt more sure of myself or anything the way I am with you, about you. I'm not going to let them closet me or hurt me or shame me for knowing that you're what I want-need-love. This is right and if they have such empty, lonely hearts that they need to attack us, let them.

They don't have this and they don't deserve this. We do and it's wonderful and I'm lucky to have found you. Lucky to have taken some insane leap of faith and gotten on an overnight bus to see a friend that turned out to be so much more. So let them have their pathetic marriage protection weeks because you can't have marriage without love but we have real love and that's something they can't make illegal. I love you, fairygirl. More than anything.

Marriage Protection Week  

Just when I thought President Dubya couldn't sink any lower and seem any more moronic, he signed a proclamation to support Marriage Protection Week. This awareness week finds its grounding on the floor of discrimination, fear and hate. Apparently, it is just fine to discriminate against anyone whose sexual preference or lifestyle you do not approve of. It is fine to deny them their constitutionally given rights and it's fine to blur that line between the separation of church and state, when someone's lifestyle doesn't suit your religious beliefs. The last time I checked, marriage wasn't what it used to be.

Today divorce rates are higher than ever. Getting married doesn't seem to be about a lifetime commitment any more. Devotion and commitment are four-letter words to a lot of people. At the first sign of hard times, a lot of people bale and a lot of relationships crumble. How dare those nasty fags try to make something beautiful out of marriage once again. How dare they have the desire to take their commitment to the next level. The nerve of these people! Perhaps marriage as a whole would take on the purity and beauty that it once had, if discrimination hadn't reared its ugly head.

Do you need a few more reasons why this awareness week is so absurd? All right then:

1. Church and state are supposed to be separate. Let's look up that word, shall we?

Set or kept apart; disunited.
Existing as an independent entity.
Often Separate Having undergone schism or estrangement from a parent body: Separate churches.
Dissimilar from all others; distinct.
Not shared; individual.
Archaic. Withdrawn from others; solitary.

Therefore, one should not affect the other. A politician's religious views should not affect his political decision-making. But all too often I see religious beliefs and convictions dragged into the center of many a political debate. So it was with abortion, as well. Keep your religion out of my life.

2. For the most part, gays and lesbians getting married is not going to effect your life or the lives of Americans, as a whole. Marriage in general is not going to dissolve, because marriage is no longer the sacred union that it once was. So why try to force a "rule" stating that marriage should only be allowed between a man and a woman, when those men and women don't even appreciate it and bale when married life doesn't fit their preconceived notions?

3. No one has the right to tell anyone who they can and cannot love. I find it insulting and presumptuous on the part of the president and all others who support this proclamation, that they have some God-given right to tell anyone who they can or cannot love. Love, in its purest form, is love. No matter who the subjects are. Love between two men is the same as love between a man and a woman. Would you be all right with it if they refrained from having sex? Somehow I doubt it, because your frail and narrow mindset still could not get past the fact they are both male. How would you like it if the tables were turned and gays/lesbians/bisexuals tried to invade your love life and told you who you could and could not love, and that you could not get married, because a group of people found your way of life to be immoral and disgusting? I think it's a safe bet that you would not appreciate it either.

We are all human. We all have desires and needs. We are all different. Just because you find someone's lifestyle to be disagreeable does not give you the right to deny someone their rights. Discrimination should never be the basis for any belief or proclamation. Perhaps if minds would open and they gave these people a chance, they would find that their kind of love is just as normal as any kind of love and that marriage between them is something to be respected and cherished. Perhaps marriage would once again be sacred and lifetime. Perhaps Christianity would find a way to catch up with the rest of society and see gays and lesbians as human-beings and not as abominations or degenerate and immoral people.

Or perhaps I'm just dreaming and wishing for an ideal society that will never exist. At any rate, marriage protection week is absurd, unconstitutional and appalling. I, for one, will be keeping my voice raised in protest.